Self Evolution Worst Local Band Ever?

SELF EVOLUTION REVIEW
 Linda Napikeski
 
 Self Evolution?  Worst Local Band Ever?  Yes, I was there … ‘Self Indulgent’ Crap!  
 
 Gawd what a feeling of entitlement – yes, yes it is going to be this group that changes the world – emptying bars since …200?  
 
 it seem s there is no end to the die hard try hard revolution as in’Self Evolution.’
 
 How long have these guys been around and who on earth book ed them?  
 
 Grown Men who obvious ly have three clean shirts, a three chord repertoire, one pair of sneakers and NO girlfriend s.  
 
 Here they ‘re going jumping around like they really believe people are concentrating- with rehearsed synchronized deouche-bagery.  
 
 A stiff drink might eas e the pain – I order my common Cesar now a triple and count backwards from 10.  People shuffle distressing ly.  
 
 the singer stretches to reach a note that African camels occasionally make, shaking and slithering around the mic like autistic child.  
 
 Yes, monotone had a new color today and it i s black with envy.  The band grin s with’Self Satisfaction’ – in a n exceedingly’Self Masterbative’ way.  
 
 the re mainder of the group p robab ly spends alot of time in the mirror and very little actually practicing anything apart from hip + step movements.  
 
 The classic middle aged( plus) mohawk sparkle s off one of the guitar players heads – slic ing thr u the monotony and reminding you
 
 he ‘s no t 38 – and his time is still coming.  A bald neo-nazi disaster from the bass concentration camps survives one more potential train wreck.  
 
 The drummer drums on a song that should haven’t ever been written.  Something about fifteen mins of celebrity- who gave them that long?  Release the hounds!  
 
 A lonely girl sways stage front with a n analogous ungainly shimmy.  I  ‘m a girl and there is nothing intrigu ing, attractive, or engaging here.  
 
  She must be’hearing with her heart.’ that i s so sweet.  Perhaps she seen one of the You Tubes of an empty bar and want ed to fill that lonesome space?  
 
  naturally I only looked online after my soul was stained by the hard ened reality- that these people essenti ally take themselves seriously.  
 
 Why would you put You Tube Material if you total ly suck – would n’t you want to hide everything unti l you get a pay cheque?  
 
 Yup, in the digital world you get shower ed by message after message to’come check us out, we are hot, giant things are happening!’
 
 you end up in some dive bar smothered in a feeling of’Self Mutilation’ – do they not hear themselves?  Could be better to remov e the next one thousand messages
 from these fellows- unless naturally the final show involves nooses and Russian roulette solos for e ach member and fan in fact.  
 
 Ever since I used to be a cheerleader for a major soccer team I have dealt with over zealous’Self Satisfied’ quaterbacks, coaches, sportscasters you say it.  
 
 Ive reviewed dozens of real bands and to hear the band banter about their future brings tears of laughter and agony for all of the real talented artists in the world.  
 
 May they never hear your cry …  Ugh s creech- whatever you call it.  
 
 Dear’ Self Evolution‘ ; while you are out changing the world could you take a pictur e of paint drying – that way when I’m absent you ‘ll know what I’d rather be watching.  
 
 Why don’t you practice Playstation games or something with some promise?  Where is the bar keep er is playing the slot s too?  Snap!  This better be a free show for every one else.  
 
 Linda Napikeski
 10/10 suck stars
 9/10 puke points
 
 
 Linda Napikoski.